


Vriska's Dead Body Causes Hatesnogs Between John and Terezi

by twinklepopo



Series: Homestuck Rarepairs [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Canonical Character Death, Canonical Death Threats, F/M, Sloppy Makeouts, rarepair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-12
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-12 20:09:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/495193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinklepopo/pseuds/twinklepopo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Jade's golden ship meets up with the asteroid. When John learns of Vriska's death, he goes to confront her killer. Things devolve into sloppy hate-makeouts from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vriska's Dead Body Causes Hatesnogs Between John and Terezi

GC: 1F W3 3V3R M33T 

GC: 1M GO1NG TO CUT YOUR THRO4T 

GC: 4ND L1ST3N TO YOU BL33D WH1L3 1 SM3LL YOU D13

The words stuck in John’s mind like a promise.

It had been four years since these words had been typed at him, and he had, between then and now, had his alternate self lead to his death by this girl, had to stare at a shitty blindingly-colorful map made by this girl (which had actually turned out to be useful), had his best bro Dave become friends with this girl, and had watched his buddy Karkat’s heart possibly get broken by this girl.

John wasn’t really sure if he liked her or hated her. And now he was going to meet this troll in person.

He flew down from his golden ship, Jade at his side, Davesprite flapping down behind them. There was a little group waiting for him down below; Rose was in the front, smiling gently, and next to her was a classy-looking troll that was glowing (John surmised that was Kanaya). Behind Rose was Dave Cooldouche Strider, trying and failing to look aloof, and next to him was a little black carapace wrapped up in rags, and behind the carapace was Karkat, looking like an angry, puffed up, tiny cat. If cats were alien and grey and had little nubby candy corn horns.

And also next to Dave was Terezi, sharp smile and red glasses, blue tongue hanging out and leaning on her cane, small pointy horns sticking out of the mess of her hair, all wrapped up in grey alien skin.

And that was the whole of their welcome group. John had figured there would be 12 trolls, and looked around curiously. Where they hiding in the shadows? Where was Vriska? But they were no where to be found, and he had 3 years worth of catching up with his friends, so he put the matter in the back of his mind and flew into Rose’s open arms.

***

Later, after all the catching up was done, he had asked Karkat where everyone else was, and Karkat had stormed off silently. Rose had to break the news to him, and he sat there quietly for the longest time.

“Who killed Vriska?” he finally asked.

“You have to understand, John, trolls are a much more violent race than humans-“

“Who killed Vriska?”

“And if she were allowed to leave, she would have doomed them-“

“Rose.” She stopped talking. “Who killed Vriska?”

“…Terezi.”

“Thank you.” And John got up and left the room quietly. Rose watched him go, concern etched on her face. A quick peek into the future with her powers transformed her face into surprise, then a smirk.

“That smirk can only mean trouble,” Kanaya remarked, dropping down next to her. “What did you see?”

“John and Terezi get in a strife. They’ll be fine,” she added at Kanaya’s look, “As it turns out, John does understand the quadrants after all.”

***

John stalked down the halls of the meteor, anger building. Sure, he wasn’t really sure if he was even romantically interested in Vriska, or even interested in romance at all. But Vriska had trusted him, had asked him out on a d8, had helped him reach god tier, had been his friend. And from what he understood, Terezi had been her friend too.

He reached the room where Terezi (and Dave and the Mayor) were hanging out, and opened the door to reveal the three of them drawing some dumb picture on the floors and walls. Why the hell were there so many cans? (He knew why, he was just angry. Give a guy some slack.)

“Terezi,” he said quietly.

Dave took one look at his face and started talking. “Uh whoa there John what beef do you have with my lady troll uh just to remind you it’s rude to hit a girl-“

“Dave, would you leave? And take the Mayor with you.” John’s voice brooked no argument.

“Uh alright man you’re the boss but just remember no committing mass murder um we already got enough of that on the meteor-” Dave pulled the Mayor out with him and shut the door.

“What do you want, John?” Terezi asked, twisting her mouth in a parody of a question mark. She was still kneeling, a piece of chalk hanging loosely in her grip.

“Why did you kill her?”

“Oh,” Terezi frowned, “You want to talk about her.”

“Yes, I want to talk about her. Why did you kill her?” His rage was boiling over from under the mask of calm and Terezi could hear (and smell) it.

“If I let her go, you’d have a dead Karkat and a dead me, as well as a dead Vriska. The alternative was much better.” Terezi stood, tilting her head up to stare her blank red eyes into John’s blue ones.

“YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED HER SOME OTHER WAY!” John shouted, mask broken. “YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO KILL HER! WEREN’T YOU HER FRIEND?”

“THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY TO STOP HER! IT WAS KILL HER OR LET HER BRING DEATH TO ALL OF US!” Terezi snapped back, face tight and angry, her grip on her chalk tightening.

“YOU COULD HAVE RESTRAINED HER! YOU’RE JUST A MURDERER! YOU KILLED ALTERNATE ME, YOU KILLED VRISKA, YOU’VE KILLED ALTERNATE DAVES! WHO’S TO KNOW YOU WON’T JUST KILL US ALL TONIGHT IN OUR SLEEP?”

Terezi grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him closer (and down) until he got a front-row seat to look at her razor sharp teeth and creepy red eyes. “You don’t know anything about us,” she hissed, “So don’t you try and judge me, you stupid human.”

John knew she was right, that he really didn’t understand the circumstances, that one dead Vriska was better than a dead Karkat, Terezi, and Vriska. And that just made him angrier, hate her more.

But then she was kissing him, sinking her teeth into his lips and licking the blood that welled up from it.

John yelped and backed up a bit, but Terezi had his shirt in a deathhold. “What the hell are you doing!”

Terezi just licked her lips, a cruel grin on her face. “What delicious cherry-red blood you have, Mr. Egbert.”

John gaped before remembering the conversation he had with Karkat before. This was part of their weird alien hatelove romance, wasn’t it? It hadn’t been a bad kiss…

Terezi gauged John’s reaction, sniffing lightly at him, before sighing and dropping his shirt. “Humans still can’t comprehend this, huh,” she muttered, turning away.

And John grabbed her by the shoulder, spun her around, and pressed his lips to hers, biting her with his buckteeth and digging his nails into her shoulders as she responded enthusiastically, sharp nails dragging red welts down his back as she fought to get the upper hand.

Later John would wonder what the hell happened as he inspected his many bruises, cuts, and welts.

***

“PUNCH HER!” Karkat whispered very loudly, staring through the window in the door. “YOU’VE BEEN YELLING FOR A WHILE JUST SOCK HER ONE NOW.”

“Dude don’t you think it’s kind of creepy how you’re watching them hateflirt it’s like you have a voyeurism kink or something the Mayor agrees with me right Mayor?”

“I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD STRIDER I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR SHAME GLOBES OFF AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP THIS ISN’T HATEFLIRTING JOHN DOESN’T EVEN COMPREHEND THE IDEA OF THE CALIGINOUS QUADRANT, LIKE THE MORON HE IS.” Karkat turned to glare at the Strider.

“Look Vantas I’m real flattered you want to sloppily and violently makeout but I would say John is getting kismet fishes pretty well considering now they’re getting their mack on.”

“WHAT?!”

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous asked:  
> John<3<Terezi hatesnogging if at all possible >:]
> 
> http://homestuck-rarepairs.tumblr.com/post/29268408180/vriskas-dead-body-causes-hatesnogs-between-john-and


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